I was with another amazing soul today and we were talking of the fundamentals of a happy life. Fundamental. That’s a funny word.
He said that the Kirubis and Chandarias, with all that coin in their accounts, have a 98 percent chance of not being as happy as the Tom and Harrys who can only afford to get their basic necessities.
I know, this is something we all say. It might, on one part, be the reason behind the phrase “ukifika huko juu usinisahau”.
Is it that we see the lack of content so early that we have the need to warn our kith and kin to not get overwhelmed by chedda so much that the past slips their minds?
Today I’m having one of those RnB nights. All that’s going to play is some Fenty, Mariah, Ne-yo, Jordin and a little bit of Mario.
I am also hungry, but when am I not? I’m only a little bit too lazy to get up to cook right now. Plus who has the time to start thinking of what to eat right now?
There are bigger issues at hand.
I am avoiding social media tonight because of this yearly catastrophe.
Saint Valentine’s day is tomorrow, meaning that almost everything that is on my online feed is related to matters of the heart and love and being single-and-not-searching, being single-and-happy, waiting-on-tomorrow and all things that I do not want to relate to right now.
It might seem hypocritical, especially because of the sounds from my speakers, but that’s irrelevant. It is common knowledge that I don’t like the dark.
I need some background noise so that when I turn off the lights, I do not put images of Ryuk (read Ree-yook) in certain shadows cast into this bedsitter by bulbs places outside to act as security lights.
I get up to scramble the eggs and accomplish my never ending vocation of feeding myself ever so often. I should also join a gym for this developing layer in the area around my abdomen.
I always thought the tummy could be part of the thorax for humans(because the waist is the separation line like in insects, but the waist is said to also be on the same tummy), and there was no mention of a human thorax in my four years of Biology.
What my new acquaintance said to me keeps coming back though. How can you not be content with all that life has to offer? If you were stripped of it all, would you be happy? Perhaps feel free from the imprisonment of luxury?
In honor of “alentine ay”, (I saw a meme about this, if you get it then good for you), I thought I should write of a few things about yours truly.
I like the simpler things in life. The small gestures that hit me right in my core.
I like quiet nights in and sharing earphones to listen to the same song.
Crisscrossed pairs of legs and genuine smiles.
The softest of touches and the silence that comes with it.
I like looking deep in eyes and falling deeper every time.
🎵…and these are a few of my favourite things🎵
I explained this to someone and they said I am a hopeless romantic.
I have never thought of myself as one, but after she said it, I sat down to think.
I might be a hopeless romantic.
Would hearts be more free if the mind gets the freedom it so well deserves?
I might want to love deep and hard. To have one person that makes you smile just by existing. I might want to love so hard and be sure of a heart break. Because only then will you have truly loved.
I might want a bond so strong it shows in our eyes when other people look at us. A bond so unbreakable it becomes sustainable on its own.
I might also want to argue, not a lot, just enough to get me so infuriated that I go banging doors while walking away.
I might want to want to hit them just so they too can hurt. To have an anger towards the love I might have for them.
I might want to dream of being with someone and miss them so bad that I wake up hugging my pillow. I might want to love hard.
There are people with hearts like the one I think about I hope. People whose sole intention is not to leave as soon as possible.
People who don’t want to love by the book. People who love outside the box.
Who want to feel for a human the way I feel for Cadbury Eclairs.
That they make them happy just by thinking of them, whether they are in the vicinity or on shelves. Whether they are available or not. The satisfaction I get when they are close.
But then, what if I get bored with them? Not the eclairs.
I have a short attention span when it comes to people. That’s why I have so few friends. It’s one reason why I want to own a Japanese Splitz one day, in a few years.
I want to get home from a full day to someone who is as excited to see me as I will be to see them.
I already know what I would call him. It’s the name my best friend stole from me and gave her cat. She doesn’t know it, but she did give her cat the name I want to give to my future dog. But what are friends for anyway?
Like I said. I like the simpler things in life. A quiet night in. Socks for a birthday present.
And as Sean Kingston plays and I wrap up all these lies and illusions I have been telling myself and having all week, have an amazing Valentines, whether you are spending it by yourself or with the ones you hold dear.